


Monachopsis

by maliras



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Coming Out, Cora and Stiles are best friends, Cora has a huge crush on Lydia, F/F, Sexuality Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 21:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15518787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maliras/pseuds/maliras
Summary: n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you'd be fluidly, brilliantly, and effortlessly at home.





	Monachopsis

**Author's Note:**

> In honor of Adelaide confirming Cora as a lesbian

Ever since Erica let it slip that Cora has a huge crush on her biology partner, Laura won’t stop pestering her about it, specifically asking who _he_ is. Except her crush isn't a he, it's a she.  
  
Cora had always felt a little different than other girls her age. While they were fawning over the ‘cutest’ guys in school and obsessing over any and every male celebrity with abs, she never took looks into account. Only ever being attracted to a guy for their personality but even that was rare. For a while, she just thought it meant she was less shallow or hormonally driven than her friends, but with a lot of self-reflection and several deep dives into Tumblr, she realized that she was in fact, somewhat gay.  
  
She mulled over the thought of being bi for a while, talking to her out and proud friend Stiles about it for hours on end, but it still didn't feel right. After Stiles did some research binge on compulsory heterosexuality and lesbianism, it all started to fall into place. Identifying as a lesbian just felt right, it felt natural and comfortable so after a couple weeks she came out to the rest of her friends. They were all really great and supportive, but for some reason, Cora just couldn’t bring herself to come out to anyone in her family besides Malia. Erica’s loose lips might be the end of Cora, or Laura if she doesn't stop questioning her on ‘who this cute boy is that has her sister’s head in the clouds’; Cora’s head was most definitely not in the clouds, she wasn't that whipped— yet.  
  
Lydia was clever, a downright genius and drop dead gorgeous, everything Cora could want in a girl and more. Of course, she spent hours thinking about her, specifically her perfectly glossed lips and that one leather mini skirt she wore last week, but she wouldn’t tell Laura that no matter how many times or different ways she asked.  
  
Cora can hear Laura’s heartbeat ticking quietly as she walks up the stairs on to the porch. She takes a deep breath before opening the door, kicking her boots off and making a beeline for the kitchen, trying to make it clear that she wasn’t in the mood for another interrogation. Of course, Laura just sprung up off the couch, throwing a magazine she was definitely not reading onto the coffee table.  
  
“So baby sister, how was school?” Cora sighs grabbing an apple and plops down on a stool.  
  
“It was fine, school is school.”  
  
Laura was obviously not happy with this answer and inched closer to Cora, pulling up the stool next to her and sweeping her fingers on the island, rubbing imaginary dust between her fingers before looking up at Cora with a terrible glint in her eye.  
  
“How was bio?” she smirks.  
  
Cora doesn’t bother to contain her eye roll today, “Fine.”  
  
An annoyed look crosses her sister’s face, clearly, her answer hadn’t sufficed.

It was the same routine every day. Laura would ask the same questions, Cora would give the same answers and then Laura would proceed to guilt trip her. Cora takes a second to mentally prepare for the oncoming puppy eyes and whining, already far too irritated with this conversation. 

  
“Come on Cor, “ she moans dramatically. You'd never guess she was a twenty-one-year-old woman by how she acts when she doesn't get her way. “You gotta give me something! You haven’t told me about any of your crushes since, like, sixth grade!”  
  
“And for good reason.”  
  
“Cora!” Laura sighs, heaving her shoulders and throwing her head back. “Sisters have to talk about boys, it's the law.”  
  
She pouts crossing her arms and staring at Cora expectantly. Cora ignores her and opens the Twitter app on her phone, biting down on her apple aggressively.  
  
“You know it’s rude to be on your phone while talking to someone.”  
  
“Good thing I’m not talking to anybody, wouldn't want to be rude,” she clenches her jaw, feeling her claws start to pierce the apple.  
  
_Alpha, beta, omega,_ Cora repeats in her head trying to calm herself down, it was no secret she had a slight anger issue but she really didn’t feel like shifting because of her annoying sister. She picked up her backpack and threw her mangled apple in the compost, making her way to the stairs. If she could just physically get away from this conversation, the urge to maim her sister will lessen.  
  
“Cor, you're sixteen! You can't just walk away from me while we’re talking!” Laura shouts after her quickly getting up and following Cora into the hall. “Just give me his name, or tell me what color hair he has. I swear I'll shut up if you just give me _something_!”  
  
Cora ignores her, each use of _he_ or _him_ pissing her off further.  
  
Laura obviously sensing her anger, snaps. “Maybe if you grew a pair and asked the guy out you wouldn’t be this angry all the time.”  
  
She stops dead in her tracks, fully shifted, she pivots on her heel, pushing her sister into the nearby wall, a dent forms where her body made contact. Laura looks up at her in disbelief and anger, her eyes flashing gold.  
  
“Maybe I’m this angry because it's not a guy, ever think about that? Maybe I don't like to talk about boys with you because I don't _like_ boys! Maybe I’m a lesbian, Laura!”  
  
Cora regrets the words as they leave her mouth, her sister looks at her with a shocked expression that quickly turns remorseful. Cora's chest tightens and she can feel her eyes start to burn with tears, her claws retract as she scoops up her backpack and runs to her room.  
  
She slams her door shut sinking to the ground next to it, pushing hair out of her eyes as tears freely stream down her face. Cora sits there for a moment just processing what the hell just happened.  
  
She just came out to her sister; Unintentionally and in a pretty violent manner. She knows Laura probably won’t care, Derek came out as bi earlier this year and it didn’t change anything. But what if Laura doesn’t accept her? She’s never had a problem with Derek or Malia, but being a lesbian is different. She can't explain why it is but it _is_.  
  
More tears flow and Cora can’t seem to wipe them off at the rate she's shedding them. She grabs her phone and clicks Stiles contact.  
  
_kinda just came out to laura_  
  
Three dots appear immediately.  
  
_skype? :(_  
  
Cora shoots back a _yes_ and within seconds her computer screen lights up. She picks herself up from the floor and moves to her desk wiping her eyes and sniffling.  
  
She hits answer and Stiles’ face fills her screen, his worry is evident and only gets worse as he sees Cora. In their nearly 5 years of friendship Stiles has only seen her cry twice; once during _Titanic_ , which she’ll deny happened with her last dying breath, and once, the day her grandma died.  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks after a long pause.  
  
His face is full of concern and she knows he won't push her to say anything but Cora knows she needs to vent to someone and Stiles is hands down the best person for the job.  
  
She tells him everything, starting with how Erica told Laura about her crush, how her sister wouldn't stop asking her about 'him' and how she straight up lost it.  
  
“Oh god, my mom is going to be so pissed.” Cora palms her forehead remembering the very strict rule of no fighting in the house. Her heart begins to race, “No, I’m not ready to come out to my mom, and I don’t know how else to explain the giant fucking dent. She’ll know I’m lying.”  
  
She slams her head onto her desk as a thought enters her mind, “What if Laura already told her? Stiles, I can't do this. This is not how I planned on this going at all.”  
  
Stiles stays quiet for a second taking it all in.  
  
“Are you scared she’ll reject you or be mad? I mean, Derek came out and it went well. You're overthinking it, Cor. You know she loves you. It’ll be scary, sure, but you just have to trust she’ll always love you,” he runs his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit he’s picked up since the buzzcut grew out. “Are you sure she’ll notice a small lie? Maybe you can just say you and Laura fought and it got out of hand or something?”  
  
Cora deadpans, “She’s the alpha, you don’t think she’ll notice this,” Cora waves to her blotchy, tear-stained face. “And me clearly avoiding giving her a direct answer?”  
  
Stiles sighs knowing she’s right and spins around in his chair a couple times trying to come up with something. Cora knows there’s really no other option than to come out and that’s never how it should be.  
  
They both sit in silence for a second, the reality of the rest of the night sinking in.  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
Cora gives him a half-hearted smile which he returns. There’s a faint buzzing noise coming from her laptop.  
  
“Stiles, your phone.”  
  
“Oh! Thanks, gotta love the wolf ears,” he says from offscreen, digging through what sounds like his bag. “Ah, it's my dad one second.”  
  
Cora hears the sheriff mumble something and Stiles nods replying, “Okay, I'll swing by in like twenty minutes. Love you too. Okay, bye.”  
  
Suddenly Stiles’ face is taking up the whole screen as he leans in front of his computer. “Hey I gotta go, Dad wants me to bring him dinner at the station. You good?”  
  
“Yes, I’m ‘good,’” she air quotes, rolling her eyes. “Go bring Papa Stilinski a burger or something.”  
  
She smirks at the scowl that crosses Stiles’ face.  
  
“I'm glad you think my father’s health is a joke.” Cora just grins in response. “I’ll tell him you said hi.”  
  
He flips her off and the call disconnects. Cora is yet again left with her overwhelming anxiety and dread about the whole thing. Talking to Stiles helped, like it always does, but she’s never felt this anxious before. Her heart is beating so fast it feels like it might jump out of her chest and her stomach in complete and utter knots.  
  
The stairs make a familiar creak and soon there's a knock on her door.  
  
“Cor, I’m sorry.” Laura sighs. “I really didn’t mean anything by it, I just wanted to talk about it like we used to. You know, your crush being a girl doesn’t change that?”  
  
She lays down on her carpet, staring at the ceiling, her eyes welling up again. Cora doesn’t reply to her sister and they both just stay silent for a few minutes, waiting for the other to say something first. Laura shifts on her feet a couple times from behind the door before speaking again.  
  
“I love you,” and with that Laura made her way back downstairs.  
  
Now Cora felt guilty for lashing out on her the way she did earlier. She knew Laura would be okay with it, it’s Laura. The same sister that snuck into her bed when it stormed so Cora wouldn't feel as scared. The same sister that stood up for her when their older cousins would tease her at pack barbeques. Laura had always been there no matter what, no matter how angry or scared she got, Laura was right there next to her.  
  
But coming out is a different kind of scared, it's not something your older sister can protect you from. The fear is persistent and consuming, you can't escape or fight it, you just have to get through it. And while it may be nice to have some people with you on the way, it’s a journey you have to take yourself.  
  
Her phone buzzes against the wood of her desk, Cora lazily grabs it and falls backward onto her bed. There’s a bunch texts from the groupchat, Erica and Isaac are fighting over DC vs Marvel again, and two unread messages from Stiles.  
  
_dad LOVED his salad_  
  
He sent a picture of the sheriff smiling forcefully at the camera, cheeks full of lettuce, giving pained thumbs up. Cora couldn’t help but laugh. She loved their family dynamic, Stiles was the one acting like the parent half the time.  
  
After shooting back a sarcastic _sure_ , Cora opens up Twitter again and scrolls absently, her mind welcoming the distraction. Her entire timeline was full of Stiles retweeting Tony Stark memes, a bunch of cute animal videos Scott took at the shelter and then her heart drops into her stomach; Lydia posted selfies.  
  
Damn. Of course, she looked amazing, it was Lydia, but with her perfect red pout and hair cascading down her shoulders, Cora was definitely in a gay awe. Her button hovered over the heart, debating if she should like it or not but before she could get the chance there’s a loud growl from downstairs.  
  
Suddenly all the anxiety came rushing back and her heartbeat picked up, her mom was home. She had a firm rule about Cora and her siblings not fighting inside as werewolf fights tend to end up with some form of property damage. While the Hales may have some money, her parents are never happy having to cash out hundreds over a squabble.  
  
Not bothering to knock, her mom swings open her bedroom door, eyes blazing red. Cora’s eyes go wide and she throws her phone down on her pillow. Talia has amazing self-control, she rarely gets truly mad but when she does, it’s terrifying.  
  
“Care to explain why there's a massive dent in my hall?” she demands, hands on her hips. “Laura said you pushed her, so please give me a good reason why as to why you'd do that.”  
  
Cora’s heart starts racing, more if that was evenly physically possible, and her chest tightens up. Her thoughts are all a jumble, trying to find a way to get around telling her mom the real reason her and Laura fought, but she can’t form anything coherent. Her breathing becomes rapid but at the same time, she can’t seem to catch her breath. Her mom rushes over to her side immediately, all traces of anger now replaced with concern.  
  
She throws herself into her mother's arms, shoving her face into her neck.  
  
“Hey, you’re okay, you're safe. Just listen to my heartbeat and try to breathe with me.” Her mom whispers into her hair, rubbing her back as Cora lets out an ugly sob.  
  
Cora can feel her claws dig into her mom’s cardigan, tearing it where she’s tightly fisting the fabric, her mom doesn’t flinch though. Breathing in her mom's scent and listening to her heartbeat helped bring Cora back down to earth, her claws and fangs retracting but the sobs persisting. She continues to rub her back, kissing her head and before Cora can think she whispers, “I’m gay.”  
  
She doesn’t say anything at first, her hands pause for a second before bringing Cora in closer. Her mom squeezes her tightly, reassuring Cora. Her sobs lessen to a soft cry until stopping completely in favor of a gross sniffle; She looks up at her mom.  
  
“I’m sorry I ruined your sweater,” Cora wipes her nose with her sleeve, still nestled in her mother’s lap.  
  
“It's okay.”  
  
“No it’s not, there’s snot everywhere and I tore all these holes,” she says wiggling her fingers through them for emphasis.  
  
“I don't care about my sweater, Cora,” she grabs Cora by the shoulders and looks her straight in the eyes. “It’s okay that you’re gay. It doesn’t change anything for me; you’re okay.”  
  
Cora starts to tear up again as her mom continues.  
  
“It’s nothing to be ashamed or scared of. Being gay is just another wonderful part of you, and I love all of you, unconditionally and always.”  
  
Relief floods her body as she burrows herself back into her mother’s neck. In her heart, Cora always knew her mother would accept her and love her just the same, but no matter how sure she was of this, a part of her brain nagged her with 'what ifs'. So much weight feels lifted off her shoulders, she feels like she can breathe again.  
  
Talia grips her daughter tightly before pulling away and wiping the remnants of tears from Cora’s face.  
  
“Now, I know you were feeling a lot of frustration and anger, but you can’t go around pushing your sister in the house, just please take it outside next time.”  
  
Cora nods in response.  
  
“You and your sister will be patching that up yourselves this weekend.”  
  
She was expecting much worse of a punishment, spending a couple hours with Laura working wasn’t bad at all. The girls normally got along extremely well with the exception of the past couple of days; she hoped it’ll go back to normal sooner, rather than later.  
  
Her mom got up from the bed, giving Cora one last kiss on the forehead, but stops just short of the door.  
  
“Do you want me to talk to Dad for you?”  
  
“No,” Cora responds instantly. “I want to.”  
  
After the exchange with her mom, she felt a lot more confident in telling the rest of her family. Even if they don’t accept her for who she is, she still has her mom, her sister, and all her friends to fall back on.

Family isn’t always something you're born into, it's the people that are always there to support you through all of life’s unexpected struggles. Family is something made, and Cora has made a pretty amazing family of her own.

__________

She came out to the rest of the Hales later that week with Stiles and Kira by her side. There was no confusion or anger, just acceptance, and hugs. Lots of hugs. While the days leading up to her coming out were less than ideal, she’s glad it happened. A huge weight was lifted the moment all those she loved knew.

__________

“So…” Laura drawls out pretending to be interested with a drying paint speck on her jeans.

“Yes?” Cora quirks her eyebrow and sets down her brush.

“You want to talk about your crush now?” Her eyes hesitant but hopeful.

Cora smiles and Laura returns the gesture.

“Well, come on. I want to know every last little detail about her.”

The two talk for what seems like hours, Cora rambling on about how smart and amazing Lydia is and Laura sitting next to her painting over the freshly plastered wall, absorbing every small detail about the prospective new girl in her sister's life.


End file.
